


A Bandaid For Your Bullet Hole

by Abadabadoo22



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26707225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abadabadoo22/pseuds/Abadabadoo22
Summary: Outside of Barden, Chloe’s life is harder than she would like to admit. When she’s at school she gets to forget all about problems, she gets to be normal. She doesn’t like to let people know about her life outside Barden, with the exception of her best friend Aubrey. Then she meets Beca Mitchell, and somehow she becomes the second exception. Will Beca be the answer Chloe has been looking for?
Relationships: Chloe Beale & Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 35
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this idea for a while and I'm still not sure how I feel about it. Let me know what you think/if I should continue!

_“Our Sorrows and Wounds Are Healed Only When We Touch Them With Compassion” – Buddha_

_May 2012, End of Chloe’s Junior Year_

Chloe watches sadly as Aubrey packs up her bags, her side of their shared room in the Bella house looking dreadfully empty. Their last day of classes was yesterday and all the girls in the house are working hard to pack.

Aubrey and Chloe are going to be the only Bellas left next year, so Aubrey is moving all of her stuff from their shared room to the room across the hall. Leaving Chloe feeling even more empty than she already is.

“You sure you don’t want to come home with me this summer?” Aubrey offers one more time, her eyes soft and sympathetic, because she knows, she’s the only one who knows.

Chloe shakes her head, “No I’ll be fine here. It’ll give me a chance to clean this house up before next year anyways. The other girls aren’t exactly cleaning up their mess.”

“Ok, but if you change your mind…the offer stands,” Aubrey zips up her last bag of clothes, standing up to survey the damage.

Going home with Aubrey for the summer actually sounds amazing, but Chloe feels bad. She feels like she would be imposing. Aubrey’s home isn’t the happiest most days with her dad gone 90% of the time, so she doesn’t want to cut into the little family time they’ll have.

Chloe stopped going home over summer after her freshmen year. Her mom has only gotten worse in the last 6 years, making her near to impossible to be around. Not to mention the endless stream of men in and out of their house. Her brother Jake isn’t an option either, with him being on the road for his job most days. Which leaves her with her only other option, staying on campus all summer.

“I appreciate it,” Chloe thanks her best friend quietly, knowing she won’t take her up on her offer.

“Have you talked to her lately?” she immediately knows who Aubrey is talking about.

Chloe shakes her head, “No. I know nothing has changed…she knows I won’t come home unless she gets her shit together.”

“I’m sorry it has to be that way,” Aubrey reaches a hand out and places it on her shoulder.

“Yea me too.”

************

_September 2005_

Chloe watches grimly as her mom polishes off her second beer of the morning. There’s an empty case next to her recliner in the living room, providing an awful memory of the night before. She had been angry, angrier than Chloe ever remembers her being. Chloe locked herself in her room and hadn’t come out until this morning.

“Mom,” she tries to keep her voice steady and strong, but it still quivers betrayingly, “the funeral is in an hour…are you going to be ready?”

“I’ll be ready,” she replies flatly, tossing her empty bottle into the recycle bin.

“Grandma and grandpa are coming to pick me up,” Chloe clarifies.

It sounds awful, but she doesn’t trust her mom not to be drunk. She doesn’t want to ride in a car with her. Chloe would drive the both of them, but she only has her temporary license. She’s not 16 until next year.

“They could take you too,” she offers quietly.

Her mom shakes her head, “I’ll be fine to drive myself…I could drive you too.”

“Um that’s ok,” she shifts anxiously between her two feet, “just be careful.”

Her mom gives her a dark stare, before cracking open another beer. She always liked a drink, but it was something that never got in the way of her life. It never got in the way until her dad died. The day the call came that he had been in a car accident and most likely wasn’t going to make it, her mom just lost it. She hasn’t been the same since. Well, neither has Chloe.

Chloe and her dad were so close. She always got along better with him than her mom. A part of her died that day and she’ll never get it back. The only other person in the world who gets her like her dad, is her older brother Jake. Jake is in college across the country, so Chloe rarely sees him. He flew into town yesterday, but after assessing the situation, he refused to stay at the house, checking himself into a hotel instead. Chloe almost hates him a little for it, for leaving her here with their mom. Regardless of her feelings about him chickening out, she’s aching to see him. Chloe just needs a hug; she needs to talk to him. She needs someone else around her, someone other than her drunk mother.

Chloe’s still worried about her mom driving, so she throws a last-ditch effort at her, “I could see if Jake could come pick you up?”

Her mom scoffs loudly, “He didn’t even want to come home, what makes you think he’s going to pick me up.”

She’s clearly not winning this one, “Ok, well I’m going to go put my dress on before grandpa gets here.”

************

The funeral is just as painful as Chloe had assumed it would be. It makes it real, she’s really saying goodbye to her dad. She’s really left here with her mom.

Chloe’s not sure her mom will ever pull it back together and that scares her. She smelled like a 12 pack of miller light when she got to the church. As person after person walks up to her to give their condolences, Chloe cringes. She knows they can smell it too, it’s embarrassing.

“You going to be ok with her Chlo?” Jake walks up to her, the two standing side by side watching as their childhood pastor talks to their inebriated mother.

Chloe sighs deeply, “I’m going to have to be, someone needs to watch after her. I’m worried Jake.”

“I am too,” Jake runs a hand through his hair anxiously, “you know I’m only a phone call away though.”

“Like you can do anything to actually help though, you didn’t even stay at the house last night,” Chloe replies bitterly.

“I’m sorry about that,” he shuffles his feet nervously, “I couldn’t bear to watch the train wreck…I should have been there.”

“Dad would want someone to make sure she’s ok,” Chloe swallows back tears as she says it, “I have to stay with her.”

“He loved you so much Chloe, he’d want you to be safe and happy.”

Chloe knows that’s true, but in three years she’ll be in college. She has an out, she owes it to her dad to hang in there.

“I’ll be fine,” she forces a smile at her brother.

Jake pulls her into a tight hug, “Love you Chlo.”

“I love you too Jake,” she mumbles into his shoulder, willing her tears to not escape.

************

_September 2012, Chloe’s Senior Year_

“I can see your toner through those jeans!” Aubrey barks out into the mostly empty practice space.

Chloe cringes internally. She likes Beca…ok she also _likes_ Beca. Something about the little alt girl drew her in right away. She’s not sure if it was the sass she dished back to them at the activities fair, or when she had an impromptu duet with her in the shower. Maybe it was her audition, where she blew everyone away with a simple song and a yellow cup. Chloe can’t put her finger on it, but she can’t seem to shake the brunette from her mind.

And Beca is talented. Aubrey has such a grudge against her she can’t even stop to see it. They desperately needed talent, especially after last years explosive ICCAs finals. The two of them had a hard enough time getting the girls they did, it’s a miracle they got someone as talented as Beca. Even if it took a little coercing from Chloe.

“That’s my dick,” Beca spits back, before turning on her heels to leave.

The response rips a quiet chuckle from the back of Chloe’s throat, but she manages to conceal it before Aubrey turns around. The blonde is red in the face, her hands shaking slightly.

“You don’t have to be so hard on her you know,” Chloe knows she’s playing with fire by saying something like that to her best friend right now.

She can practically see the flames roaring in her pupils as she turns to look at her, “Yes I do Chloe. She has an attitude and no respect for authority. Do you want any shot at finals this year?”

Of course she does, she’s not going to deny that, so she nods.

“That’s what I thought, so don’t question my methods,” Aubrey retorts quickly.

Ever since the year started, and Aubrey and Chloe took over the Bellas, there has been a certain bite to Aubrey that Chloe has never seen before. This isn’t the Aubrey Chloe knows, she’s starting to think she never knew her at all.

“I’ve got to get going Bree, I’ve got homework to do,” Chloe grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder.

Aubrey is staring intently at the white board in front of her, wiping away some of the marks she made on their master plan, “Ok, see you back at the house.”

Chloe rushes out of the building, hoping that maybe she can still catch up to Beca. She wants to apologize, wants to make sure the other girl is ok. Chloe doesn’t want Beca to quit over this incident, for some selfish and not so selfish reasons.

Luckily, Beca is leaning against a large tree right outside the building, large headphones covering her ears, her face looking down at her phone. Chloe stalks quickly over to her. As she gets closer, Beca’s head snaps up, immediately making eye contact with her.

“Hey Beca,” Chloe chirps, as the younger girl slides her headphones down around her neck.

  
“Hi,” Beca replies cautiously, like she’s not sure what Chloe is here for.

“I’m sorry about Aubrey, she’s been extra control freak lately, that wasn’t cool of her to accuse you like that,” Chloe is quick to get her apology out, Beca doesn’t look like she would want to beat around the bush.

“I appreciate the apology,” relief washes over Chloe, that is until Beca continues to talk, “but that’s a really dumb rule. I’m not even sure I’m into Jesse, but I should be able to be with him…if I was.”

Chloe sighs, “I know it’s dumb…and if you really do like Jesse, I wont say anything to Aubrey. I’m pretty sure Bumper and Fat Amy have something going anyways.”

Beca wrinkles her nose, her mouth turning downward, “Oh uh wow…didn’t see that one coming.”

“Me either,” Chloe laughs.

“Thank you, I don’t see anything happening with Jesse, but still, thank you,” Beca says sincerely, before starting to slide her headphones back up.

This must be Chloe’s cue to leave, “Ok, well I’ll see you around!”

Beca nods, “Yea, see ya.”

************

Chloe wakes up the next morning with an ache in her heart and a sour taste in her mouth. She rolls over groggily and sees the date on the calendar above her desk.

September 14th. The anniversary of her dad’s death.

The hardest day of the year for her. Much like years gone by, she just wants to get the day over with. Go to class, go to practice, come home and go to bed. Tomorrow will be a better day.

“Miss you dad,” Chloe mumbles, clutching the locket around her neck.

The locket was a gift from Jake, a year after the death. There’s a picture of her dad inside. She hasn’t taken it off since the day she got it.

Chloe eventually manages to pull herself from bed and start her day. She goes to class, she tries hard to pay attention. She goes to practice and sings and dances like she means it. Inside though, she feels like she’s barely there. Her body is present but her mind is miles away.

None of the other girls seem to pick up on her mood, except for Aubrey…and surprisingly…Beca. She catches a few sympathetic glares, but Beca’s are more worried, presumably because she has no clue what has Chloe under the weather.

So, she’s almost not surprised when practice is over and Beca hangs around until it’s just the two of them left. Just as she’s about to leave, Beca walks over to her.

“Hey Chloe,” Beca pulls the straps of her backpack tight against her, “are you ok?”

Chloe nods and gives her a small smile, “Yea, I’m fine.”

“It’s just…you don’t seem fine, you kind of seemed really distant today,” Beca shrugs.

Beca clearly isn’t going to let it go, normally Chloe would jump on the opportunity to share with the younger girl, but she’d rather not share. But something in Beca’s expression lets her know that she’s not going to drop it.

“Um well, I guess I’m just kind of depressed today,” Chloe answers her as vaguely as she can.

“Why?” Beca immediately fires the question back.

Beca has never seemed to care much about any of the other girls like this. It has her wondering why she’s pushing so hard. Maybe her little apology yesterday spoke to Beca louder than she thought.

Chloe sighs quietly before answering, “Today is the anniversary of my dad’s death.”

“Oh god, wow,” Beca casts her gaze to the floor, “Chloe I’m really sorry.”

“It’s ok, I’ll be better tomorrow,” Chloe tries to reassure her.

The two stand in awkward silence, while Beca shifts around uncomfortably. This is Chloe’s cue to leave.

Before she can even consider walking past her, Beca puts a hand out, “Um, I don’t know if this would make things worse…or if you’d just prefer to be alone, but would you want to grab dinner with me? Or we could just go back to my dorm for a while and just chill, we could order take out. My roommate is going to be gone tonight and I thought maybe it would take your mind off things?”

Normally Chloe would prefer to spend her day in her bed and not move until tomorrow. But even under the circumstances, she doesn’t want to pass up an opportunity to spend more time with Beca and maybe get to know her better. Something tells her that spending some time with the other girl really would make her feel better.

“Sure, that would be great,” Chloe grins and Beca looks shocked that she said yes.

“Ok, cool,” Beca leads the way out of the building and towards her dorm.

“Do you like Chinese?” Chloe asks as they walk through the crisp autumn air.

Beca nods excitedly, “I love it.”

“I know a great place we could order from.”

Being with Beca already has her calmer. She’s not sure if it’s because of how much she likes her, or if it’s just the girl’s presence in general. Something about her puts all of Chloe’s anxiety behind her, it helps her forget why she was even sad today. Which makes her almost feel guilty, but she knows this is what her dad would want for her.

One thing is solidified in her mind now. Beca Mitchell is special and Chloe would be a fool to let her slip away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mentions of overdose, skip everything after "December 2009" and pick back up at "December 2012" if you want to avoid it!

_August 2009_

“Mom, I’ve got all my stuff in the ca….” Chloe’s sentence is swallowed back up into the atmosphere when she walks back into the living room, “you’ve got to be kidding me.”

Chloe’s mom is sitting in the middle of the sofa, her arms wrapped tightly around a scruffy looking man in a mechanics uniform. There’s a few half empty bottles of booze on the coffee table and a lit joint between her mother’s fingers. She laughs airily at some dumb remark the stranger practically underneath her makes. She’s as high as a kite and probably drunk to boot.

“Chloe!” her mom’s eyes light up at the sight of her only daughter, “come have a drink baby.”

The only good thing about her mom getting high instead of drunk is that she is much happier. Her mom is an angry drunk, she turns into someone that Chloe scarcely recognizes. At least when she’s high she somewhat resembles someone Chloe used to know.

“What happened to taking me to college today?” she snaps, completely ignoring her mother’s request.

“That was today?” she asks dumbly, bringing her glass tumbler to her lips, taking a long sip of dark amber liquid.

Chloe groans frustratedly, “We’ve been talking about it for weeks.”

“Calm down princess, we can still do it,” she’s got to be kidding, she’s not going to let her mom drive anywhere like this.

Chloe shakes her head vigorously, “No. It’s fine, I’ll just stuff everything into my car and do it myself. You clearly have more important things to do.”

Her words must permeated through her mom’s hazy brain because she’s jumping up from the sofa, some of her drink sloshing out of her glass and onto the cream colored carpet, “No, Chloe let me do this. I want to do this.”

“I’m not taking you anywhere like this,” Chloe motions up and down her mother’s body, “you would just be an embarrassment.”

Her expression almost looks hurt before it turns bitter, “If that’s how you feel about me, then fine do it all on your own. See if I care.”

Chloe turns around without another word. She mindlessly shoves all her belongings into her little chevy impala, barely getting in everything she needs. She doesn’t even bother to go inside to say goodbye before driving down the road. It’s time for a new beginning, a new life, one she doesn’t have to hate. She has a good feeling about Barden, hopefully her gut is right.

************

_December 2012_

The winter air is crisp, sending a shiver down Chloe’s spine as her and Beca walk towards her dorm. They just left Bellas rehearsal and the air almost feels good after all the exercise.

“So, what are you doing for winter break?” Beca breaks the comfortable silence, shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her coat.

Chloe shrugs, “I’ll probably stay on campus, I might go visit my brother, if he’s going to be around.”

Beca looks at her dumbly for a moment before composing herself again, “You aren’t going home for Christmas?”

Her and Beca have gotten really close this semester, Chloe might even dare to say she’s her best friend…if she didn’t have a heart stopping crush on the younger girl that is. Even so, she’s not sure if she wants to unpack her reasoning for never going home yet.

“Nope,” she answers the question simply, hoping Beca will just take the answer and let the topic drop.

She knew she wasn’t going to be that lucky, because Beca doesn’t care about anyone…anyone but her it seems. Chloe is the only person Beca goes the extra mile for, at least from Chloe’s point of view, that’s how it seems.

“Why?” the question barely surprises her as it come out of Beca’s mouth, her breath leaving a puff of white in the air.

“It’s a long story,” Chloe tries her best to deflect, but she knows Beca won’t give it up.

Maybe opening up to someone else would feel good. Maybe to weight of her problems would feel a little lighter.

“I’ve got time, we can go get coffee?” Beca looks at her hopefully, “My treat?”

“I thought you were having a movie night with Jesse,” Beca had been talking about it all week, the excitement of a new relationship and all.

That’s another thing that has been making Chloe feel even worse than she does at this time of the year. She had a bad feeling Beca would end up with him…she had a bad feeling she was straight. Chloe loves their friendship, but it just makes everything that much more painful.

“You were literally coming to my dorm to hang anyways, that’s not until later,” Beca laughs.

Chloe’s cheeks burn red, “Oh yea, sorry, blonde moment I guess?”

“You’re not even blonde, you don’t get to use that one.”

Chloe gives Beca a playful shove, “Shut up.”

After another five minutes of walking, they finally end up at the coffee shop. Before Chloe knows it, there’s a steaming hot cup in her hands and Beca looking across the table at her expectantly.

“So now, why don’t you go home for Christmas?” Beca parrots the question from earlier, making Chloe squirm uncomfortably in her seat.

“So, I guess it all really started when my dad died,” Chloe twirls the paper cup in her hands, attempting to channel her nerves into something else.

Beca nods, encouraging her on.

“My mom kind of self-imploded after his death…it started with drinking. It just spiraled from there, drugs, lots of sex with random men. It made all four years of high school miserable for me,” Chloe can feel tears threating to spill, she never talks about this, “after my first Christmas back home in college I vowed to never go back until she got her shit together.”

A hand reaches across the table to settle over her own. Chloe looks up into Beca’s eyes, which are sad and empathetic. It makes her feel comfortable, grounded, Beca’s hand against her own. Her fingers twitch underneath the touch, she never wants to break the contact.

“I’m so sorry Chloe,” Beca says softly, “that must be really hard…so I take it she’s still pretty bad?”

Chloe nods slowly, “Uh yea, I’ve tried to get her to go to rehab but she won’t listen, I’m worried she never will.”

“I know this is nothing compared to what you dealt with,” Beca looks vulnerable as she speaks, “but high school was really rough for me too. My parents got a divorce and my dad married my now step monster. I felt so betrayed, I felt like nothing would ever be right again. I felt like my dad was giving up on me.”

“I’m glad you shared that,” Chloe turns her hand so it’s holding Beca’s instead of lying limply below hers, “I’m glad I’m not the only one with a shitty story.”

“I mean you definitely win if we’re comparing, but yea, it was nothing to write home about,” Beca smirks.

Beca finally pulls her hand away and Chloe instantly misses her touch. She quickly moves her hand back to her cup, lifting it to her mouth, not wanting Beca to know how much the little contact affected her.

“Do you want to come home with me for Christmas?” Beca asks after a few moments of silence.

The question practically makes Chloe choke on her latte, “I couldn’t do that Bec. Your family doesn’t even know me.”

“They know of you,” Beca replies nonchalantly, “plus they would love you.”

“So, you’ve talked about me to your family?” Chloe quirks an eyebrow.

It’s Beca’s turn for her cheeks to fade into a light shade of red, “They were asking if I made any friends…so I told them about you.”

“Don’t be embarrassed Beca, I love that you’ve told them about me. If I talked to my mom, she would know about you, because you’re one of the best things about this semester,” Chloe says honestly, hoping the blunt truth doesn’t weird the other girl out.

A smile the size of Texas spreads across Beca’s face. She doesn’t seem sure how to respond, but Chloe knows she probably feels similarly if her expression is to judge.

“Shouldn’t you be asking Jesse to go home with you for Christmas instead of me?” Chloe suddenly remembers Beca’s boyfriend.

Beca shakes her head no, “He has his own family to go home to, plus I’ve only been dating him for a month. I’d much rather have you come with me…especially because I want to save you from having to be here for three weeks.”

“I’ll think about it,” Chloe finally answers Beca’s offer.

She’s going to have to think hard about it, the last time she went home with someone for Christmas…well let’s just say it’s not a fond memory. It was an almost eerily similar situation. She had known Aubrey for one semester and after the blonde found out about her mom, she had invited her home for Christmas. She also needs to remind herself that it was a very different situation all together.

************

_December 2009_

There’s no hiding the fact that Chloe is scared to go home for Christmas. She’s scared about what she’s going to find. It’s the first time her mom has been alone for that long. Chloe watched out for her more than a teenage daughter should.

She also left on bad terms in the fall.

She could walk into anything really, which is terrifying. Which is why the whole drive back to South Carolina, Chloe is practically shaking with nerves. She probably shouldn’t have loaded up on coffee like she did, the caffeine isn’t helping. Aubrey has called her on and off, offering her support…and the reminder that she can go to Aubrey’s house if it’s too bad. Chloe was determined to make this work though; she didn’t want to run away on her mom completely. Chloe is not a quitter.

About an hour later she finally pulls into the driveway of her mom’s house, the windows are dark even thought the sun set hours ago. That’s already not a good sign. Chloe puts the car into park and takes a deep shaky breath. She gets out of the car after a few moments of composing herself.

She slings her bag over her shoulder and walks up the path to the front door, her hand shakes as she lifts the key to the lock. Chloe pushes the door open slowly, she can hear the TV blaring some infomercial for air tight containers. It’s the only light illuminating the living room. As Choe steps further in the door, she can see her mom’s identical mop of red hair flowing over the arm of the sofa, her hand hanging limply down onto the floor. She can’t make out much else with how dark the room is, the blue-ish light of the TV making everything look a little eerie.

An ice-cold feeling courses through her, her heart rate picking up. Something isn’t right, she can just feel it. Chloe throws her bag down onto the floor and rushes over to the sofa. It barely looks like her chest is moving up and down, her lips look a little blue. Out of the corner of her eye she sees a baggy of pills on the coffee table. Shit. This can’t be happening.

“Mom,” Chloe says firmly, “Mom!”

Nothing.

Chloe kneels down next to her and shakes her vigorously, “MOM.”

Her hands shake as she pulls her phone from the back pocket of her jeans. Her fingers can barely hold still as she dials 911.

The operator is calm and comforting. She walks Chloe through checking to see if her mom’s heart is still beating. She feels like she’s floating through some nightmare as she rips her mom’s shirt open and starts chest compressions. She has no clue how long she hammers into her mom’s chest before the door busts open and the paramedics are pushing her out of the way. Her vision blurs as she finally lets herself cry.

She’s not quite sure how she gets to the hospital. The world finally comes back into focus when a nurse carefully approaches her and asks if there’s anyone that she can call for her.

“Um, my best friend, Aubrey,” her voice sounds foreign to her.

************

When Chloe’s mom finally is stable and back at home, Chloe leaves to go back home with Aubrey. Before she leaves, it isn’t pretty, her and her mom scream and fight, but there is no way she’s ever going to come back home to that again. Chloe gives her a final ultimatum: Go and get some help or I’m done here.

Christmas is miserable, even though Aubrey’s family is warm, inviting and sympathetic. They make her feel like she’s family. Even so, Chloe has never felt more alone. She feels like she has nowhere to go. She has no one to bake her cookies to take back to her dorm or give her a hug that feels like home when she needs it or give her boy (or girl?) advice. She’s all alone and it’s something she’s going to have to get used to.

************

_December 2012_

“I’ll go home with you,” Chloe offhandedly mentions to Beca as they sit on the bed in Chloe’s room at the Bella house.

Beca’s eyes light up and the chips she was munching on practically fall out of her mouth, “Really?”

Chloe nods, after thinking about it, the idea of having people to spend Christmas with would be really nice. It’s something she hasn’t experienced since Christmas her freshman year.

“I would love to,” Chloe smiles happily at the younger girl next to her.

“That’s awesome!” Beca exclaims, “Oh shit, I’ve got to book the flight like now then.”

“You haven’t done that already?” Chloe looks at her quizzically.

Beca shrugs, “I was waiting to see if you would want to come first.”

“You could have missed out on getting tickets Bec, you shouldn’t have.”

“I know, it’s ok though, I wanted to,” Beca looks down at her phone, which has flight listings to Seattle already displayed, “get your snow boots ready Beale, it’s been chilly out there this year.”

“You know, I’ve only seen snow a couple times in my whole life,” Chloe already feels excited thinking about seeing the fluffy, white precipitation.

Beca’s eyes bug out, “Dude, we are so going sledding.”

For the first time in years, Chloe is starting to feel excited about this time of year. This might be the best Christmas she’s had in a long time…


	3. Chapter 3

“Where are you headed? Is Jake coming home this year?” Aubrey’s voice makes Chloe’s head snap up from her suitcase.

She looks over at the confused blonde standing in her doorway. Ok, so she hasn’t told Aubrey that she’s going to Beca’s for Christmas. Something tells her that she would take offense to it, especially with Aubrey’s strong dislike for the freshman girl.

“Nope,” Chloe chirps, stuffing a pile of pajamas into the half empty suitcase.

Aubrey trails farther into the room, taking a seat on the edge of Chloe’s bed, “So where are you going then?”

Chloe swallows nervously, “Um, I’m going to Beca’s for Christmas.”

“Seriously?” there’s a serious sour bite to Aubrey’s tone, one that already has Chloe’s stomach churning, “You know you don’t have to go home with that scraggly little alt girl…you’re always welcome to come home with me.”

“I know, I thought it would be nice…and she offered,” Chloe mumbles, turning her attention back to her packing.

Chloe also hasn’t been very up front with Aubrey about how close her and Beca have become. She’s just tried to keep the peace this year with the way her best friend has been acting.

“Why the sudden change of heart?” Aubrey snaps, “You’ve said no to my offer for the last two years.”

Chloe just shrugs, because honestly, she’s not sure herself.

“Do you like her or something?”

Chloe knows that she’s just trying to figure it out, but she can’t help feeling like this is somewhat of an interrogation. She’s not sure how to respond to the question, so she stays silent, pursing her lips in a way that means ‘I’m done talking’.

Aubrey nods knowingly, her own little frown visible, “She’s with Jesse, you know that right? She’s straight Chloe.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Chloe mumbles in defeat.

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt…ok?” Aubrey sighs.

“I won’t…I’m going as her friend and nothing more,” Chloe finally zips her very full suitcase up and stands from the floor.

Aubrey looks at her with softer eyes now, “Chlo, I know you. This is probably more harmful than it is helpful.”

“It’s just a stupid crush Bree, I can move past it,” Chloe doesn’t know why she’s defending herself so vehemently.

“Ok, I get it. Just be careful,” the blonde gives her a small smile before standing up and heading out of the room.

Maybe this is a mistake. Chloe knows what is happening. Every time she’s around Beca she feels herself falling just a little more. It’s a very slippery slope she’s on right now, one that ends up with a broken heart. Why is it that she can never help herself though?

************

Surprisingly, Beca talks off Chloe’s ear for a good majority of their flight to Seattle. Chloe had assumed she would put her headphones on and promptly fall asleep. Maybe she’s just as excited as Chloe is…although right now she’s more nervous than anything.

“So, tell me again who’s going to be there…so I don’t mess names up?” it’s probably the fifth time she’s asked it on this flight alone.

Beca chuckles, “Chlo, you don’t have to worry, I’ll introduce you when we get there.”

Chloe’s sparkling blue eyes bore into Beca’s, she hopes she’s getting the message across, “Beca just tell me.”

“Ok fine weirdo,” Beca scoots around so her left shoulder is against the seat and she’s facing Chloe, “my mom, Janette; my step-dad, Peter; and my two brothers, Lucas and Ethan. Lucas is my full brother, he’s 15. Ethan is my half-brother and he is 4. On Christmas day, my grandma and grandpa will be there, as well as my Aunt and Uncle and their families, but I’ll introduce them to you later.”

Chloe shuffles in her seat anxiously, “Ok cool, I’m excited to meet everyone.”

  
“You don’t have to freak Chlo, they’re super chill and they’re excited you’re coming,” Beca reads her emotions like an open book.

Chloe sighs looking up at the ceiling of the airplane, “You know, sometimes I feel so lost…I just feel like I don’t belong anywhere.”

“I’m sorry,” she can feel Beca’s eyes on her still, “but for what it’s worth, you have me. I know I’m not much, but it’s something, right?”

She knows it’s not how Beca means it, but the statement makes butterflies erupt inside her, “Hey don’t think you’re nothing, I’m so grateful I have you.”

Shortly after their conversation, Chloe falls asleep, her head resting gently against Beca’s shoulder. She finally wakes up to Beca shaking her, telling her they’ve landed in Denver for their connecting flight. They walk sleepily through the airport, and before Chloe knows it they’re back on a plane. They both settle in quickly and Chloe is asleep again, dreaming of a warm fire, mistletoe and Beca’s lips against hers…

************

When they step out of the airport in Seattle, Chloe’s eyes turn into saucers when she sees the white on the ground and the sparkling little flakes falling from the sky. Beca looks at her in amusement as she skips out into the snow, spinning around in a circle.

“Bec isn’t it pretty!” Chloe feels so carefree and happy in the moment, holding out her hand to catch a few flakes, which immediately melt against her skin.

Beca walks out past the overhang to join her, snowflakes immediately clinging to the fabric of her beanie and hair, her cheeks turning red in the chilly air. Chloe can’t help thinking that she looks beautiful.

“It’s alright I guess,” Beca smirks, “I can tell you’re from the south Beale.”

“Beca!” both girls immediately turn their attention to the voice.

A few feet away is a moderately sized blue SUV, a man who looks to be in his late forties stands next to it waving. It must be Peter, Beca’s step-dad. Both girls quickly grab their abandoned suitcases and walk over to the car. Peter looks like a genuine guy, someone that would give you the shirt off his back. He’s smiling at the two girls like he’s been waiting all month to see them.

“Hey Pete, how’s life?” Beca says casually and she throws her bag into the open and waiting trunk.

“Can’t complain, and this must be Chloe,” the man turns to look at Chloe, he’s grinning warmly, he’s got wrinkles by his eyes and a dark bushy beard.

“Yup,” Beca replies, making a popping noise on the “p” of the word.

“It’s nice to meet you!” Chloe chirps pleasantly.

“Nice to meet you too Chloe, I’ve heard a lot about you,” Peter motions to the back seat of the car, “why don’t you two sit in the back, I don’t mind being the driver,” he winks at the two.

Beca and Chloe quickly climb into the back seat of the car and they start down the road. Chloe watches the snow fall as they drive. They get on the highway; she can tell they are heading out of the city. She vaguely recalls Beca saying she lives in a smaller town just outside Seattle itself.

After about 30 minutes of driving, they are pulling up to a cozy looking two story house. Chloe would bet money on it being perfectly decorated on the inside, maybe it even smells like cinnamon or evergreen.

“Alright, here we are, home sweet home,” Pete gestures at the home as he parks the car in front of the garage.

As they step inside, Chloe’s suspicions are quickly proved correct. Off to the right of the entry way, she can see the living room, where a large tree is perfectly decorated. There is garland wrapped around the railing going upstairs and little signs and decorations everywhere…and it does smell like cinnamon.

“Come on, lets take our stuff upstairs before the ambush,” Beca nods her head to the stairs.

Chloe follows Beca closely up the stairs and down the hall. They walk to the end of the hall and Beca pushes open a door she assumes is her room. As they walk in, Chloe drinks in her surroundings carefully. The walls are covered in posters, most of them being about music. There are fairy lights hanging around the top of the ceiling. In the corner there is a fancy looking computer set up. The first thing Beca does is open up her bags containing her music equipment, which she promptly hooks up to the computer.

Chloe gingerly sets her bag down in the corner and takes a seat on the edge of the double bed in the middle of the room.

After Beca has successfully plugged in her equipment she turns around to look at Chloe, almost apologetically, “So, there isn’t really anywhere else for you to sleep but in here…I hope that’s ok. You can share the bed with me or I can get the air mattress down from the attic.”

Chloe tingles with excitement thinking about sleeping next to the brunette, “Oh that’s totes ok. I don’t mind sharing with you, the mattress would probably take up a lot of space in here anyways.”

“Awesome,” Beca looks relieved that Chloe is ok with the sleeping arrangements.

After both girls get settled, they head back downstairs. Unsurprisingly, her entire family is waiting in the living room when they enter. Her mom lights up at the sight of Beca, her brother Lucas gives Chloe a weird look. Little four-year-old Ethan looks like he could care less.

“Beca!” her mom stands up and throws her arms around her eldest child.

Beca grumbles and doesn’t even attempt to wrap her arms around her mom, “You’re squeezing the life out of me.”

“Oh don’t be dramatic,” her mom chuckles, pulling away to look over at Chloe.

“And you must be Chloe,” her mom walks over and promptly pulls Chloe into a hug.

After she recovers from the shock, she does hug back.

“I’m so glad you could come,” her mom pulls away from the hug, she says it so genuinely that Chloe truly believes she’s excited that a strange girl has invaded their family holiday, “Lucas, come say hi to your sister and Chloe.”

Lucas stands up slowly, very much fitting the angsty teenager profile. He looks so much like Beca that Chloe swears they could be twins if it wasn’t for the four-year age difference.

“Sup Bec,” he nods at his sister, then raises his eyebrow at Chloe, “so are you my sister’s girlfriend?”

If Chloe has been eating or drinking anything it would be sprayed all over the fifteen-year-old. Beca emits a quiet squeaking noise, the tips of her ears turning red.

“Lucas, you know Beca is dating Jesse, remember we told you?” Beca’s mom steps in before either of the two have to answer.

“Oh yea, I forgot about that,” Lucas stalks back to his spot on the sofa, sliding his earbuds back in his ears as he goes.

They talk to Beca’s family for a little bit, but Chloe is barely focused enough to answer their questions. Most of the time she ends up needing them to repeat themselves. She plays it off as jet lag. Truthfully, her mind is spinning with the probability that Beca is not as straight as her or Aubrey thought. Her brother wouldn’t have asked about a girlfriend if she was completely straight.

************

Beca looks nervous as she shuts the door behind them. Chloe sits down on the bed and watches as Beca paces back and forth a few times before settling down next to the red head. Beca had seemed a little anxious all night, so Chloe was glad when it was late enough for them to head upstairs for bed.

“So after all that I have a little bit of explaining to do,” Beca plays with her hands that are sitting her lap, “you know how my brother asked if you were my girlfriend?”

Chloe nods anxiously, trying to cover up how excited she really is.

“Just to clarify, I dated girls in high school…he was so used to seeing me with girls, he just assumed I guess…I’m bi,” Beca stammers nervously.

Chloe nods knowingly, “I kind of assumed so after he said that.”

“You’re not weirded out…like weird about sleeping in the same bed as me, are you?” Beca looks genuinely concerned and it almost breaks her heart.

She shakes her head stiffly, “Of course not. Beca…you aren’t a predator, you just like girls. You aren’t going to feel me up in my sleep…unless you wanted to of course,” she throws the brunette a wink, successfully turning her face red.

“Ok good,” Beca rubs the back of her neck, “I just dealt with a lot of judgement from the girls in high school, I forget that most people are pretty chill.”

“I would never judge you Bec, it would be pretty damn hypocritical,” Chloe flashes her a soft, comforting smile, “I’m not as straight as you think.”

“Really?” Beca looks genuinely surprised at the admission.

“I’ve never officially dated a girl, but I’ve thought about it…I’ve fooled around with girls,” Chloe isn’t afraid to admit the fact, she never has been.

The information seems to floor Beca a little, only a high pitched, “Oh, ok,” manages to escape.

“Thank you for sharing with me Bec,” Chloe reaches her hand out to lay it softly over Beca’s, “thank you again for all of this, for inviting me here.”

“Anytime Chlo,” it looks like she’s going to say more but instead yawns loudly.

Chloe is yawning right after her and she suddenly realizes how heavy her limbs feel, and how soft the bed beneath her is, “Maybe we should get some sleep, it was a long day.”

Beca nods in agreement, “I’m all for that.”

************

Chloe wakes up earlier than she’d like the next morning. The sun is barely peaking through the blinds and Beca is softly snoring next to her. Her eyelids are heavy, like she could fall back asleep if she wanted, but something…well more _someone,_ prevents her from doing so.

Beca ended up turning around in her sleep, so her face is lined up with Chloe’s. She slid impossibly close to her bedmate, not on purpose, but Chloe can practically feel her warm breath on her face. The proximity of the younger girl makes Chloe’s heart hammer in her chest. Her hair is practically on top of her head, wild from sleep, Chloe thinks it’s adorable. She takes the time to study Beca’s face, she ends up staring at the soft lines and plumpness of her lips, wishing she could lean forward and softly peck them.

Maybe Aubrey was right…maybe this trip is more harm than it is good. She does know that Beca isn’t straight now, but that doesn’t change the fact that she’s still with Jesse. Chloe has to respect that, as much as she’d like to shoot her shot with the freshman girl.

She’s not sure how long she watches Beca, but the sun is finally pouring through the cracks of the blinds when Beca finally starts stirring. Chloe snaps her eyes shut, not wanting to get caught staring. She hears Beca groan and feels the bed shift next to her, so she slowly lets her eyes flutter back open.

“Mm, good morning,” Beca yawns sleepily when Chloe’s eyes are completely open.

“Morning,” Chloe replies, her voice still surprisingly gravely from sleep.

“You sleep ok?” Beca asks as she rolls onto her back.

Chloe slowly sits up, the warm cocoon of blankets falling down past her torso, “Yea, definitely, how about you?”

Beca stretches lazily, her legs popping out from under the covers and her arms raising above her head, “Slept great. I’m ready for a day of fun!”

“You have something good planned?” Chloe asks excitedly.

“Well, since it snowed quite a bit yesterday…I thought we could go sledding, then maybe head into the city for a while?” Beca asks, more then tells, clearly wanting Chloe to be on board with her plans.

“Sounds great Bec,” Chloe is already beaming thinking about sledding, she’s only ever done it once before and she barely remembers.

“Cool,” Beca smiles right back at her.

If Chloe’s being honest, she doesn’t care what they do, as long as it’s with Beca. Shit, she really is screwed…


	4. Chapter 4

_December 1997_

“Come here ladybug,” Richard Beale grabs little 7 year old Chloe’s mitten covered hand as they stomp through the fresh, sparkling and very deep snow.

Chloe watches with wide eyes as her brother Jake plows through the snow, red round saucer sled in hand. It’s Chloe’s first time seeing the fluffy white precipitation. They are in Minnesota visiting her grandma and grandpa for Christmas. The moment she had looked out the window this morning her jaw had dropped to the floor. Her dad had promptly dressed her and her brother in snowsuits and boots and pulled the old sleds down from the rafters of the garage.

“Dad! Chloe! Hurry up!” Jake runs quicker towards the hill, his boots kicking up little puffs of snow.

“We’ll catch up Jake, you can go to the hill,” Richard calls to his eager 12 year old son.

When Chloe and her dad finally reach the top of the hill, Jake has already flown down the hill twice. He’s stomping up the hill when Chloe is just getting her sled situated at the top of the incline.

“Daddy…I’m scared,” the little red head girl looks up at her dad, eyes wide.

He smiles warmly at his daughter and sits down on the back of the sled, patting the space between his legs, “We’ll go down together.”

When Jake had went down the hill the first time, Chloe had watched in excitement and anticipation. She could hardly wait to go down the hill herself, but now that she’s at the top…the bottom seems so far away.

Chloe tentatively sits down at the front of the sled, grabbing the rope tightly.

“Ready Chloe?” her dad asks.

Chloe nods and before she knows it they are flying down the steep hill. The wind whips her face and snow flies up all around them. She lets out a happy squeal, this has to be the best thing she’s ever done. They finally reach the end of the hill and the sled promptly lodges into the deep snow, stopping them dead in their tracks. Chloe practically launches from the front but she couldn’t care less.

“Let’s do it again!” Chloe screams, jumping up from the little sled.

Her dad’s smile is so wide, and he stands up grabbing the sled from the snow, “As many times as you want ladybug.”

************

_December 2012_

Chloe stands at the top of one of the most intimidating sledding hills she’s ever seen, no less scared than her first time sledding when she was 7…maybe more scared.

Beca looks at her reassuringly, “It’s going to be fun, trust me Chlo.” 

“I feel like this isn’t even remotely safe,” Chloe mutters as she watches a child flying down the slope on an innertube, he looks like he has to be going at least going 50 mph.

“That’s what makes it fun!” Beca laughs, throwing their double innertube down on the smooth, packed down snow, “You want the back or the front?”

“Uh, the back is fine,” Chloe says shakily, crouching down to take her place.

Beca settles in the round dip in the front, nestled tightly between Chloe’s legs. For a moment Chloe forgets that she’s about to go down death mountain, too caught up in the smell of Beca’s fruity shampoo and the way the brunette feels so good leaned up against her. She suddenly feels calm, all nerves dissipated.

“Let’s do this!” Beca screeches, pushing them off with her hand.

Suddenly they are rocketing downwards, the landscape around them a complete blur. Little bits of snow and ice blow up around them as they ride. Chloe lets out a little scream of excitement as they reach their peak speed. Sooner than she’d like, they are at the bottom of the hill. Chloe can still feel the adrenaline pumping though her.

They both hop off the innertube and Beca looks at her expectantly, “So?”

“That was aca-awesome!” Chloe exclaims, eager to go to the top and back down again.

Beca smirks knowingly, “I knew you’d love it.”

************

“I’ve had a really good time today,” Chloe smiles at Beca across the little table.

Beca lowers her white Starbucks cup from her mouth and grins, “Good, I’m glad.”

After they went sledding, they went into the city to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Chloe didn’t really need to buy anything; she’d already gotten gifts for Aubrey and her brother. She didn’t have a present for Beca though, and luckily the brunette had snuck away for a half an hour, claiming she had a special mission she needed to complete. It gave Chloe the chance to pick something up for her best friend. She really wasn’t sure what to get Beca, she just hopes the other girl likes her gift.

“I don’t think I can say thank you enough times for inviting me here, it means a lot,” Chloe says genuinely.

Beca’s family has made her feel so welcome and shown her so much compassion. She hasn’t felt this happy at Christmas since before her dad died.

“I’m glad you’re here, it’s no problem. You don’t have to keep thanking me,” Beca replies sweetly, looking down at the table intently, her finger tracing the swirls of the wood.

After a few minutes Chloe decides to break the comfortable silence with a question she’s been dying ask, “So do you and your brother ever spend Christmas with your dad?”

Beca shakes her head no, “My dad gets us on Thanksgiving, my mom gets us for Christmas. My mom had insisted that’s how it goes, my dad wasn’t too happy but I’m glad that’s how it is. As you know I’m not my stepmom’s biggest fan…”

“What don’t you like about her?” Chloe knows she’s treading a thin line, Beca doesn’t like to share too much, she knows it’s hard for her, but she’d love to know.

After all that Chloe has shared, she just wants to know Beca that well too.

She can tell Beca is formulating a response, her thumbs twiddling nervously, “Ugh, I don’t know…she just isn’t very nice. When me and my brother are around, she just acts like we are a nuisance. Um, but I guess what really gets me is that she isn’t the biggest fan of…who I am.”

Chloe nods knowingly, “Ah, like because you’re bisexual?”

Beca frowns before shaking her head yes, “I brought my girlfriend to my dad’s one summer and let’s just say she had some choice words for us, about how wrong we were. My dad keeps her under control as best as he can, but she doesn’t like to hold back…I don’t know how he stays with her.”

Chloe feels unbelievably sad for the other girl. Even though her mom is a train wreck, she always accepted Chloe for who she is. No one in her family has a problem with who she loves. She just wishes it could be that way for everyone.

“I’m sorry Bec, that’s got to be really hard.”

Beca shrugs, “It’s ok, I’ve learned to just deal with it. She’s been a lot better since I started dating Jesse, except for her snide little comments about being so grateful that I’m straight now…”

Chloe feels her stomach boil with a mixture of anger at Beca’s stepmom and jealousy at the mention of Jesse, but she quickly shakes it off, “That’s really shitty of her, being with Jesse doesn’t change who you are.”

“If only she would see it that way,” Beca rolls her eyes, “at least my mom and stepdad have always been ok with everything.”

“I just wish that no one had to deal with people like your stepmom, it just makes me sad, my mom has never cared about me liking girls, I’m sure my dad wouldn’t either if he were around,” Chloe shakes her head.

“I’m glad you understand this stuff, I’ve never had friends that could relate to me like this,” Beca confesses quietly.

The statement makes Chloe beam, “I’m glad I have you too.”

************

Chloe flies forward, her heart racing. She tries to catch her breath, but it’s so hard, she hasn’t had a nightmare like that in a long time. Luckily, she didn’t seem to wake up Beca, who is still snoring, sleeping soundly next to her.

It’s the same nightmare every time, it’s always her mom, lying on the sofa limply, a horrific reenactment of what she walked in on 3 years ago. They always seem to happen again around Christmas, for obvious reason.

Chloe slides around, letting her feet hit the cold hardwood flooring. She needs some water. When she gets down to the kitchen, she’s surprised to see she’s not the only person there. Beca’s mom is sitting at the island countertop, Christmas cookie in hand, fluffy robe on and hair tied in a knot on the top of her head.

“Chloe,” the older woman’s eyes flit upwards as Chloe enters the kitchen, “you’re still up?”

“I just needed some water,” Chloe grabs a glass from the cupboard, “what are you doing up still?”

She looks over at the clock on the stove, it’s nearly 2 in the morning.

“Ethan couldn’t sleep, he insisted on sleeping in my bed. I finally got him down, but I worked up a little appetite,” Beca’s mom grins, waving the little gingerbread man in the air.

Chloe fills her glass with water and takes a few large gulps. She’s finally stopped shaking from her nightmare, she hopes she didn’t look too frazzled when she walked in.

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s going on with you and Beca?” the older woman asks so nonchalantly, but it practically makes Chloe choke.

“Nothing…I mean we’re friends, good friends,” Chloe rambles, trying not to freak.

“Ok, if you say so,” she smirks, “but I see how you two look at each other.”

“What?” Chloe can’t help the knee jerk reaction, “Beca doesn’t like me…”

“I know what it looks like when my daughter likes someone, she may be with that guy, but she feels something for you, I just know it.”

Her words swirl around in Chloe’s head viciously, her stomach fluttering. She can’t be right, Beca likes Jesse. Though the little glimmer of hope has her heart ablaze.

“Really?” Chloe asks in disbelief.

The older woman nods, “Something about that look on your face tells me you might like her too…”

Chloe can’t help the rosy blush that spreads across her face.

“Wait for her Chloe, she’ll come around,” she pops the last bit of cookie into her mouth before hopping off the stool and back towards the stairs.

Chloe finishes her glass of water and heads back upstairs. She’s not sure how long she lies there before she falls asleep, she just can’t shut her mind off. The idea of Beca liking her back is just too much…

************

Beca and Chloe lounge on the plush sofa in the living room, stomachs full from their Christmas dinner. She can still hear the majority of Beca’s family laughing and chatting in the large dining room. The two had snuck away after their plates were clear to get a good spot to sit. The large home is filled to the brim with family. It’s so warm, happy and rather exciting. This Christmas has been a dream, it’s sad to think it’s almost over.

“Hey,” Beca pokes her in the arm.

Chloe turns to look at her, “What?”

“Follow me,” Beca manages to push herself off the sofa.

Chloe is surprised she can follow suit with how full she feels, “Where are we going?”

“I just want to give you something,” Beca leads them to the back of the house, near the patio doors leading out to the backyard, which is covered in snow and warm lights.

They stop right at the doors, seemingly far away from all of the commotion. Although she can still faintly hear Beca’s Uncle Jerry bellowing loudly, he kind of reminds her of Santa.

Beca pulls a small, neatly wrapped box from her pocket, the little silver bow isn’t even crushed, despite being in Beca’s pocket seemingly all day, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

Chloe gladly accepts the box with a smile on her face, “Bec, you didn’t have to.”

“Hey, everyone should have something to open on Christmas,” Beca shrugs her shoulders.

Chloe quickly pulls the wrapping away to reveal a small red jewelry box. Inside is a delicate silver necklace, a dainty ladybug charm hanging from the chain. She gasps at the thoughtful gift.

“Oh my god, Beca, I love it,” she says in awe, pulling it from the box, “how did you know?”

“You’ve got that tattoo on your wrist, I thought you must just really love them,” Beca replies quietly, “I honestly was just hoping it wasn’t stupid.”

“It isn’t stupid, it’s amazing…I have that tattoo because ladybug is what my dad used to call me,” Chloe clasps the necklace on, running her fingers over it, “this means so much.”

“Oh wow, guess it was a good choice then,” the brunette smiles wildly, clearly happy with the effect her gift had.

“I have something for you too, but I have to go get it,” Chloe chose to wear a dress and doesn’t have the novelty of pockets, like Beca did.

Chloe hurries up to Beca’s room and grabs the slim box from her bag. She practically sprints back downstairs to where Beca is still patiently waiting. Chloe extends the little box out to her best friend, who eagerly takes it from her.

Beca rips the wrapping off, excited to get into the gift, she gasps when she pulls out a little white box, containing a brand new iPod, the surprised look on the brunette’s face is priceless, “Chloe this is great!”

“I noticed yours is kind of old and beat up and I know how much you love music.”

“This had to cost a fortune…you shouldn’t have,” Beca is still grinning from ear to ear, but she sounds concerned.

Chloe shakes her head, “It wasn’t that bad, don’t worry about it, just enjoy it.”

“I will, thank you Chlo,” Beca replies quietly.

Chloe’s eyes drift out the door, a light snow is falling. If Chloe is being quite honest, she hasn’t had her fill of it yet. She wants nothing more than to go outside and soak up the gentle precipitation.

Beca follows her gaze and grins, “You wanna get some fresh air?”

“Yes,” Chloe answers a little too excitedly, earning a chuckle from Beca.

The two grab their coats and quietly slip out into the dark backyard. The only light illuminating the large yard is the soft, colored Christmas lights hanging from the pine trees.

“This is the best Christmas I’ve had in a very long time,” Chloe genuinely confesses.

“I’m glad you accepted my offer to come then,” Beca stuffs her hands into her pockets, it’s a little colder than she had assumed, “you deserve to have a good Christmas, even if it can’t be with your family.”

“The Bellas are my family, you’re my family,” Chloe blurts out, maybe a little too forcefully, “so _I am_ with my family today.”

“I kind of wish the rest of them were here…isn’t that a little crazy?” Beca asks almost in disbelief, like she can’t comprehend that those girls mean that much to her. 

Chloe shakes her head no, “Of course not, it would be nice.”

Although Chloe selfishly is glad that it’s just her and Beca. All this time alone with the younger girl has been amazing…and probably isn’t doing anything to help Chloe’s raging toner for her.

“It’s pretty cold out here, want to go back inside?” Beca motions to the patio door.

Chloe nods, it is really cold, “Yea let’s go.”

The two stop in the entry way to hang their coats on the hall tree. Beca’s baby brother Ethan is sitting on the floor, rolling around a brand-new fire truck. His eyes bounce up to the older girls and he smiles a toothy grin at the two.

“Kiss! You hafta kiss now!” he giggles pointing at his half-sister and her best friend.

Beca’s cheeks turn 20 different shades of red and Chloe feels a chill run down her spine, what is this kid talking about?

The babbling 4-year-old points at the ceiling above them, where a strategically placed bundle of mistletoe has been hung. The little boy has been hanging out in the hallway all day waiting for his next victims, after his mom had explained what the decoration meant.

Recognition flashes across the brunette’s face when she looks up.

“We can’t ignore tradition Bec,” Chloe says cheekily, knowing that she’s pushing the boundaries.

To her surprised Beca shrugs in agreement, “You’re right.”

Chloe’s heart beats wildly as Beca starts to lean in, but to her immense disappointment, Beca goes past her lips and plants a soft kiss on her rosy cheek. Even though she would have preferred a kiss on the lips…her cheek still burns where Beca’s lips landed. The act did nothing to calm her racing heart.

Chloe leans over and returns the favor, letting her lips linger maybe a bit too long on the soft skin of the younger girl’s face, “Merry Christmas Beca.”

When she pulls away, Beca is blushing slightly, but she quickly plays it off, “Merry Christmas Chloe.”

The two barely notice Ethan, who is clapping loudly and squealing excitedly that he got two people to actually play along. What no one sees though, is Beca’s mom who is watching from down the hall, with a cheeky, knowing grin spread across her face…


	5. Chapter 5

Sooner than Chloe would like, life goes back to normal. It’s the new year, a new semester. Weeks have passed but Chloe is still reeling from her time spent with Beca over Christmas. She can’t seem to shake the memory and feeling of waking up next to Beca every morning, her scratchy…but oh so sexy morning voice, her eyes sleepy but already sparkling and her wild hair, sticking every which way. She can’t un-feel the softness of Beca’s lips against her cheek and the way it sent sparks shooting through every nerve ending in her body. Chloe fell hard over Christmas, as much as she hates to admit it. It just makes the whole situation that much more painful, especially because the second they returned to Barden, Beca ran right back into Jesse’s arms.

The two had gone to a New Year’s Eve party hosted by the Treble’s. It had been a fun night, especially with Aubrey still gone at her parent’s. It made it easier for the Bellas that were there to let loose and enjoy without their dictator breathing down their necks. Chloe had been having an excellent time in fact…that was until the clock struck midnight. Jesse’s lips found Beca’s in an instant, sending red hot jealousy coiling through Chloe’s stomach. She had been so upset that she had to go outside and let a few tears fall.

To her disappointment, the little trip outside hadn’t gone unnoticed. As she wiped away salty tears from her cheeks, Stacie’s voice had rung out behind her. The leggy brunette cornered her and Chloe ended up admitting it all. It actually felt nice to tell someone besides Aubrey. Stacie listened and was sympathetic to the situation. But through everything, the words of Beca’s mother have stuck with her, “wait for her.”

Despite Chloe’s feelings, her and Beca’s friendship continues to grow. Which is why Beca is the first person Chloe turns to when she gets the message. Her palms sweat and head spins as she reads the text message from her mom’s current boy toy.

_Your mom’s in the hospital. It was an overdose._

Of course this had to happen a week into the second semester. As much as Chloe would like to believe that she doesn’t care, she does. All she wants is for her mom to be better. She wants to have a mom again. Most of all she can’t bear the thought of losing her, even if things have been rough for quite some time now. She can’t bear to lose her too.

Chloe immediately calls Beca. She just hopes that the freshman isn’t in a class.

_“Hey Chlo what’s up?”_

“Oh thank god…Beca I got a text,” Chloe can’t help it, the moment she starts talking, the waterworks start.

_“Chloe what’s wrong, do you need me to come over?”_

“It’s my mom, she’s in the hospital, she overdosed again,” Chloe blubbers, the tears pouring down her face now.

_“Oh shit. Ok I’m coming over right now, stay where you are.”_

“Thanks Bec,” Chloe tries to regulate her breathing and stop the crying, but it’s useless.

_“Anytime.”_

As soon as she hangs up with Beca, she calls her mom’s boyfriend. He informs her that her mom is in the ICU, she’s unresponsive, in some sort of coma. It does nothing to calm Chloe down, she just needs Beca to get here.

It’s seems like years before she hears the doorbell ring. Chloe flies down the stairs and rips the door open. Beca barely has a chance to speak before the red head is flying into her arms. The younger girl clutches Chloe like her life depends on it.

“Is she ok?” Beca mumbles into her shoulder.

Chloe shakes her head, the tears flowing freely, soaking the fabric of Beca’s jacket, “She’s unresponsive, in the ICU.”

“Are you going to go see her?” Beca rubs soft circles on her back, in an attempt to calm her down.

Chloe shakes her head again, “I don’t know.”

“You should be there for her,” Beca pulls away from her, moving her hand to wipe Chloe’s damp cheeks, “I know you guys don’t have the best relationship, but you should go.”

“I don’t know if I can do this on my own,” Chloe takes a deep shaky breath.

“You don’t have to,” a sparkle of determination flashes across Beca’s face, “because I’m coming with you.”

“Bec, you don’t have to do that,” Chloe manages to pull herself out of Beca’s arms, even though she would prefer to stay in the safe, warmth forever. She doesn’t need to pull Beca into her fucked up family problems, especially at the beginning of the semester, “I don’t want you to screw yourself up in your classes.”

The brunette shakes her head, “That doesn’t matter, I’ll be fine. You need someone there for you.”

She has a sneaking suspicion that she’s not going to be able to talk the younger girl out of it, “You’ve done so much for me, I feel like I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, it’s what best friends do.”

************

“I just want you to know that this isn’t going to be fun…my family is messy, dysfunctional,” Chloe looks over at Beca as she drives, feeling the need to reiterate the fact that this trip to South Carolina isn’t going to be anything remotely as nice as their trip to Seattle.

Beca pulls her eyes away from the road for a second to give Chloe a steely, reprimanding gaze, “Chloe, of course it’s not going to be fun, we’re going to see your mom, who just overdosed and is in the hospital. I wasn’t expecting it to be a trip to Disney World.”

“I just feel bad I guess, I feel bad you have to deal with this, that you are taking your time to deal with my family’s bullshit,” she watches wistfully as the country side goes by in a blur, wishing she were anywhere but here right now. Anywhere but dealing with this all over again.

“I want to be there for you, you need someone right now, don’t feel bad. I know you would do the same,” she’s not wrong, Chloe would walk to the ends of the earth for the brunette. She’s not sure that that same amount of dedication is matched by the other girl, but she knows that she means something to Beca. She means enough to the girl for her to drop everything and go to her messy, god awful dumpster fire of a home.

She feels Beca’s hand cover her own, which is laying in her lap. Chloe looks back over at her best friend, she’s sporting a soft, sympathetic face. A certain feeling hangs heavy in the air, she has trouble putting her finger on what it is. It’s something akin to the feeling she got when they traded kisses under the mistletoe on Christmas. But it disappears as quickly as it arrived, Beca pulling her hand away from Chloe, now that she has her attention, “Everything is going to be ok.”

************

After a couple hours they pull up to a somewhat outdated ranch house, the landscaping outside in desperate need of an overhaul, a few pots with clearly dying or dead plants sit on the porch. Well, it doesn’t look like her mom has been trying very hard in these last 3 years.

“Home sweet home,” Chloe says with a roll of her eyes, unbuckling her seat belt.

Beca looks over at her, her eyes trying to convey the message that everything is fine, but nothing is fine. Chloe wanted to just check into a hotel, but her mother’s boyfriend would have none of that. He insisted the girls stay at her mom’s house, telling Chloe it is her home too after all. She couldn’t disagree more; this is not her home. Besides the fact though, this man her mom is with seems to be a bit better than some of the others have been. Hopefully he’ll stick around, she has her doubts after this stunt though.

“Hey, look at me,” Beca grabs Chloe’s hand before she can leave the car. Chloe turns to look at the younger girl, “don’t feel bad…about anything. I just want to be here for you as best as I can, you’re hurting and I just want to help.”

“Thanks Bec,” Chloe gives her a soft smile, before grabbing her bag and heading to the front door.

She fumbles for the key in her pocket, the key she hasn’t needed to use in 3 years. As she pushes the door open, nothing she sees surprises her. It looks like the house is a little torn apart from the first responders coming in yesterday. Besides that, there are empty bottles of booze scattered about, a few empty packs of cigarettes sitting on the side table, and a couple empty pizza boxes sitting on the coffee table. The layout of the living room hasn’t changed a bit since the last time she was here. The same stale smell of alcohol hangs in the air. From the look and smell of the place, her mother has done nothing but get worse in the past few years. If she doesn’t change it up, Chloe isn’t going to have a mother.

“Oh wow,” she hears Beca breathe out behind her, the younger girl just having entered, her own bag in hand, “sorry…I just wasn’t expecting…”

“It’s ok, I get it, it’s a shit show,” Chloe cuts her off before she can try and apologize any further, “let’s go put our stuff upstairs, I hope there are still sheets on my bed.”

As the two ascend the stairs, Chloe suddenly realizes that she hadn’t even asked Beca if she wanted to or was ok with sharing a bed. There is a guest bedroom, there’s no reason for them to share. Her cheeks burn red with embarrassment at how presumptuous she’s being. Just because she wants Beca to sleep in her bed doesn’t mean she has to. 

“Um, you can stay in the guest room if you want,” Chloe motions to the first door on the left when they reach the top of the stairs, “I guess I forgot you don’t need to be in my room too.”

Beca shakes her head, “Actually, if you don’t mind, I’d rather stay in your room with you…if that’s weird though you can totally say no,” Beca quickly adds at the end, her own face a subtle red.

Chloe’s heart soars at the admission from the brunette, “No, not weird at all.”

“Ok cool,” Beca sighs in relief.

Chloe reaches the end of the hall and pushes the door to her bedroom open. Not a single thing is out of place, it looks like her mom hasn’t been in her in 3 years, not that there’s much to mess up though. Chloe took most of her belongings from the room, leaving only a bed and dresser. A few posters still hang on the walls, light purple curtains cover the large window, a couple cheerleading trophies sit on a mostly empty bookcase and a couple boxes of photos sit on the top of the dresser. Luckily, the bed is still made up, so they won’t have to worry about that.

“This is it, you can toss your stuff wherever, as you can see, I’ve pretty much purged the place,” Chloe throws her own bag down onto the floor next to the window.

Beca is in the process of putting her things down when her phone rings. She pulls it out of her pocket, a small frown forms on her face. The brunette answers it, as she steps out into the hall. Chloe tries her best not the eaves drop, but she can’t stop herself from the way she strains to hear who it is.

“Jesse, I told you I was going to South Carolina with Chloe,” she hears the younger girl say a little angrily into the phone, “she needs me here…we can do that anytime.”

Had Beca blown off plans with her boyfriend to be here?

“Oh my god, dude, grow up. She’s my best friend, you wouldn’t do this for your best friend?”

It doesn’t sound like things are going very well. Choe kind of hates how happy that makes her.

“Yea ok, whatever. We’ll talk about this later.”

It sounds like the phone call has ended, so Chloe springs back into the center of the room, busying herself with unpacking. Beca walks back in with a scowl on her face.

“Everything ok?” Chloe asks innocently.

Beca seems to shake away the anger and smiles at her best friend, “Yea it’s all good. You want to head to the hospital now?”

Oh yea, for two seconds she almost forgot why they are here, “No, but I have to.”

“It’ll be ok Chlo, I’m here for you,” Beca reassures her for the millionth time in the last 12 hours.

************

When they get to the hospital, her mom’s boyfriend, Dan, greets them and leads them to her mom’s room. Chloe’s scared for what she’ll see when they head inside the room, currently, her and Beca are standing outside, barely peering in past the open sliding glass door.

“Take a deep breath Chlo,” Beca rubs her arm, before grabbing her hand into her own.

Chloe nods and the two enter the room. The sight before her rips a gasp from the back of her throat and she feels Beca’s grip tighten on her hand. Her mom is hooked up to so many machines, a tube is down her throat and there are a bunch of wires stuck to her head. For a second, she panics, wondering if her mom isn’t going to come back from this one. The first time it happened, she had been able to go home the following morning. This looks much much worse.

“What did the doctors say about her?” Chloe asks Dan shakily.

“Well, they’re afraid she’s in some kind of coma related to her overdose. They put all those wires on her head because they were worried she was brain dead, they’re monitoring her brain activity. Obviously, she’s not breathing on her own, but probably directly related to the coma,” Dan tells them simply, the man clearly not having grasped entirely what the doctors said to him, but more than Chloe assumed he would retain.

“Is she going to come out of the coma?” Chloe quickly fires back.

Dan just shrugs his shoulders, “Don’t know.”

Chloe takes a few unsteady steps towards her mother’s bedside. She grabs her hand, with hers that isn’t being tightly held by Beca. She hates that she can already feel hot, angry tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Why did she have to do this to herself?

“What if she doesn’t make it…the last thing I ever said to her was about never coming back if she doesn’t get help,” her voice cracks, salty tears rolling down her face now, “I couldn’t live with myself if that was my last conversation with her.”

“Hey, you didn’t know that when you last spoke to her. This isn’t your fault, you were doing what you thought was right,” Beca says calmly.

“No, what I was doing was selfish,” Chloe replies bitterly, “I ran away from the problem. What would my dad say? He would want to take care of her.”

“Your dad would want you to be happy, he would understand why you didn’t stick around,” Beca’s moved so that she’s practically hugging Chloe, her arms slung tightly around the older girl.

Chloe knows that Beca is right, but she can’t avoid the all-consuming guilt that washes over her. She practically feels sick looking down at her mom right now. She’s so distraught that she barely even registers how touchy feely Beca is being, how comforting she is being and how much it’s helping, “Let’s go, I can’t be here.”

Beca nods, “Ok, let’s go.”

“I’ll call you if anything happens,” Dan waves at the two girls as they leave.

************

The two stop at Chloe’s favorite diner on the way home, in hopes that it’ll cheer her up. Not even a chocolate oreo milkshake and a bacon cheeseburger does the trick. She picks at it for a while, eating maybe half. She ends up offering Beca the rest, who looks at her sympathetically before accepting.

By the time they get home, Chloe is ready to fall into bed and forget the day’s events. As she finally settles down under the covers, she feels the bed dip beside her, Beca clearly lying down now as well. She continues to look out the window, her back faced to the short brunette. What she would have never expected though, was for Beca to cuddle up as close as she can to her. The younger girl’s arm coming to wrap around in middle. She can feel Beca’s body pressed up tightly against hers, and it has her heart hammering in her chest. This is something she never would have dreamed of, she feels like she can’t close her eyes or even breathe, otherwise the dream will be over.

It’s not though, she feels Beca’s breathe tickling her ear as she asks, “Is this ok?”

Chloe nods, trying to get words out, “Yea of course.”

“Ok good,” Beca says sleepily, pulling Chloe even tighter against her.

Beca initiating cuddling? That’s definitely new. Chloe isn’t even going to question it, not now, when she needs it the most. Obviously, it’s clouding her judgement and blurring those lines of friendship even more. Then there’s the fact that Beca still has a boyfriend, but Chloe isn’t going to worry about any of that. She needs to enjoy this moment while she has it.

“Goodnight Bec,” Chloe says dreamily, moving her hand to intertwine with Beca’s hand laying on her stomach.

Beca yawns loudly before replying, “Goodnight Chlo.”

And a what a good night it is.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I updated this! For some reason, I really struggled with this one. Figured I'd just post what I have and move onto the next chapter and hope that it's better!

The shrill sound of Chloe’s phone pierces the air, launching the red head upward out of sleep. Beca’s arms fall limply from around her as she moves to grab her phone from the nightstand. She can feel the younger girl yawn and shift next to her, the sound slowly waking her as well.

“Hello?” Chloe answers with a scratchy morning voice, she barely sounds awake.

_“Hey, it’s Dan, your mom is awake,”_ the man sounds emotional but speaks quietly enough that Chloe has to strain to hear, “ _she’s, well she’s been asking for you.”_

The part she heard loud and clear, her hands shake as she struggles to end the call, “Ok, thanks I’ll be there soon.”

Chloe’s phone practically slides from her grasp and she stands up quickly from the warm, safe cocoon she was lying in. Beca looks up at her with a confused expression, “What’s going on?”

“My mom is awake…and asking for me,” Chloe chokes out, wringing her hands anxiously.

“Oh shit,” Beca looks like she just had ice water dumped over her head, any trace of sleep now gone.

She sits back down suddenly as a wave of emotion crashes over her, “I thought I’d lost her,” she sobs, her entire body shakes as she cries. All the pent-up anger and sadness from the last three years finally bubbling up to the surface. Years of pain wash over her as she cries, as she finally lets herself feel the gravity of the situation, “I’d never forgive myself if I lost her too.”

A few minutes later, when she finally calms down, she can feel Beca scoot to sit next to her. The brunette wraps her arms tightly around Chloe, who leans into the embrace. No words are spoken but Chloe can feel exactly what Beca is meaning to say.

“Hey, let’s go see her, ok?” Beca says softly into her ear before pulling out of her arms.

Chloe nods, wiping any stray tears away, “Ok.”

************

Chloe takes a deep breath before stepping into her mom’s hospital room, she’s not sure she’s ready to deal with this yet. Not ready for the conversation she’s going to have. When she finally walks into the room, her mom immediately turns to look at her. She looks exhausted, weak but her eyes sparkle in a way Chloe hasn’t seen in years at the sight of her daughter.

“Chloe,” she smiles weakly, motioning for her to sit down in the chair by her bedside.

“Hey mom,” Chloe reaches her hand out to grasp her mom’s as she sits down.

The two women sit in silence, Chloe studying her mom’s face carefully. She looks older, more tired, even for being in the hospital. The past few years must have been rough.

Chloe’s just about to speak when her mom opens her mouth, completely surprising Chloe, “I’m sorry sweet pea, I’m so so sorry.”

Chloe swallows hard, a lump already in her throat, her mom hasn’t used that name for her since before dad died, “It’s ok.”

The older woman shakes her head vehemently, “No, it’s not ok. I haven’t seen my daughter or my son in three years, all because I can’t seem to get control of myself.”

“I’m sorry I stopped coming around,” Chloe can feel tears pricking the edges of her eyes.

“Don’t be, I deserved it,” her mom squeezes her hand, “I didn’t need to drag you down too.”

Chloe almost doesn’t know what to say. It’s like her mom woke up a whole new person. Something about this time must have spoken to her and Chloe is so happy about it she could cry.

“You need to get help mom,” Chloe manages to choke out, holding back her tears.

Again, to her surprise, her mom shakes her head yes, “You’re right I do.”

At her mom’s admittance, Chloe actually does let a little sob free, but it’s a happy one. She pulls herself back together quickly, looking at her mom through watery eyes.

For the first time since she stepped in the room, her mom’s eyes drift past her, to the figure standing near the door. Chloe’s eyes track her gaze over to Beca, who has been patiently waiting, giving the mother and daughter their space.

“Is that your girlfriend?” her mom asks innocently enough, but Chloe’s eyes widen dramatically at the question.

“No!” she defends herself quickly, ripping her own gaze away from the younger girl, whose cheeks have turned a subtle shade of red as well.

Her mom lifts her hands up in defense, “Ok, sorry just checking. Dan said you two seemed cozy, so I just assumed…you know I don’t care right? I don’t care if you’re gay.”

Chloe nods, still a little embarrassed her mom would ask that in front of Beca, “Yea I know, but we’re not…together, Beca has a boyfriend.”

Beca clears her throat from across the room, “I’m just going to step out for a second Chloe.”

Chloe looks over at the other girl and nods before looking back at her mom.

“If she didn’t have a boyfriend would you be together?” her mom raises an eyebrow, it’s crazy all her sass and wit is still seemingly present after everything that has happened.

“Mom, seriously,” Chloe looks at her sternly.

“You didn’t deny it.”

Chloe sighs, “Ok, maybe…we might be.”

“So you like her, does she like you?” her mom fires back almost immediately.

“Oh god, no one would ever know you were comatose yesterday,” Chloe looks up at the ceiling exasperatedly, “I don’t know if she does or not, she’s confusing.”

Even though she feels like she’s under the bare bulb right now, Chloe couldn’t be happier. This is the realest conversation she’s had with her mom in years. Her humor is back, she seems to care about Chloe’s life. Her mom three years ago wouldn’t have given two shits who the small girl in the corner was. She wouldn’t have been able to pull herself from the bottle long enough to be able to inquire about her daughter’s personal life. This is everything she’s dreamt about.

“If she’s willing to be here with you right now…I think she might,” her mom says genuinely, “she seems to care about you a lot, from what I’ve seen and from what Dan has said.”

“Yea, then why is she still with Jesse?” Chloe asks almost sadly, but her mom isn’t wrong, with everything that has happened, Chloe would assume Beca wanted more if it wasn’t for her boyfriend.

“Maybe it isn’t so black and white for her…maybe she needs to hear how you feel first.”

“You’re crazy, I can’t do that, not while she’s still in a relationship,” Chloe scoffs at her mother’s idea.

“Hey it might be crazy but it might work too…did I ever tell you that’s how I got your dad?” her mom smiles softly as she says it.

Chloe shakes her head no, “No you’ve never told me that.”

“He had a girlfriend and it was our last day of high school,” her mom looks like she’s far away as she tells the story, “I knew I loved him, we were friends all through school. We were set to go to colleges on opposite sides of the country, so I knew I had to take my chance before it was all over.”

“Oh wow,” Chloe loves hearing about her dad and she’s surprised neither of her parents had divulged this story before.

“So, on our graduation day, after the ceremony, I told him. He broke up with his girlfriend the very next day. The rest is history,” her mom says the last bit almost dreamily, and Chloe actually hurts for her mom that she lost her very best friend and her love, “but my point is Chloe, sometimes you have to do something a little wild to get what you want.”

Chloe suddenly has a brilliant idea, “Ok, how about this, we make a deal.”

“I’m listening,” her mom folds her hands in her lap and looks at her seriously.

“If you go and get help…and take it seriously,” Chloe sighs, “I’ll tell Beca how I feel.”

Her mom nods and holds out her hand to shake Chloe’s, “You’ve got a deal.”

************

Shortly after her mom was released from the hospital, she checked into one of the best rehab centers in the area, with the help of Chloe and her brother. For the first time is years Chloe felt at ease, knowing that her mom is ok and she’s finally getting the help she needs. She feels completely calm, except for the fact that she made her mom a promise. She still has to tell Beca about her feelings…

Chloe’s sat on it for weeks, trying to come up with a way to tell her best friend how she really feels. She’s considered giving up, but the few phone calls she’s gotten from her mom, she never fails to bring it up, that Chloe still has a deal to uphold. Chloe only knows it’s for her benefit, her mom really cares. She wants her daughter to be happy, but that doesn’t stop Chloe from being scared shitless. The longer she waits though, the closer Beca and Jesse will get. The more serious they get, the worse telling her will be.

Which is why, Chloe decided that tonight is the night. Aubrey is going to be out of the house and Chloe knows for a fact that Jesse is working, so Beca will be free. She’s already invited the short brunette over to the house for a movie night. This could go terribly, or it could go great. Chloe’s preparing for the worst.

When the doorbell rings later that night, Chloe practically flies off the sofa, too lost in her own thoughts. When she opens the door, Beca smiles back at her, a box of cupcakes from Chloe’s favorite bakery in hand. She really has to make this hard, doesn’t she?

“Hey Chlo,” Beca walks in swiftly, making herself at home, “we haven’t hung out in a while, thought I’d make it special with cupcakes.”

“That’s great, thanks Bec,” Chloe replies shakily, sitting down on the sofa next to Beca, who has already ripped the box open, grabbing out a sinfully delicious cupcake.

Beca holds the open box over to her, “Here have one, you look like you need it.”

She’s not wrong, so Chloe grabs a cupcake and starts to carefully peel the wrapping away. Normally she would be three bites in by now. Beca eyes her curiously, she’s already picked up on the strange behavior.

“So, what are we watching?” Beca cocks an eyebrow, looking at her best friend incredulously as she takes her first bite of cake.

Chloe doesn’t think she can bear to sit through a movie and worry about this, so it’s now or never, “Actually, can we talk first?”

Beca looks concerned, she moves to face her best friend, setting the cupcake box down on the coffee table, “Sure, what’s up?”

Chloe closes her eyes for a moment, focusing on her breathing, trying to will her hands to shake less or her heart to pound quieter. Chloe has never had a hard time sharing her feelings. She’s a bit of an open book. Something about this particular situation has her stomach in knots and her tongue tied. Maybe it’s because this is the strongest she’s felt about anyone in a long time.

“Hey Chloe, what’s wrong? You can tell me anything,” her eyes are still closed but she can feel Beca’s hand settle on her leg.

She opens her eyes slowly and takes in Beca’s worried expression, “I don’t want to ruin this,” she motions vaguely in between the two of them.

“Nothing you say will ruin what we’ve got,” Beca tries her best to reassure the older girl.

Chloe’s not so sure that’s true but she carries on anyways, “You mean a lot to me Bec, you’ve been there for me through so much. I haven’t had something this special with anyone in a long time.”

“I feel the same way,” Beca smiles back at her sweetly, clearly not seeing where this is headed yet.

“You make me so happy, and I think that I really feel something for you,” Chloe can’t bear to look into the other girl’s eyes, “like something more than friendship.”

She doesn’t look at Beca, but the room goes so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Beca’s hand slowly slithers off her leg, the action makes Chloe want to cry. From what she can tell, things aren’t going as well as she planned.

“I don’t know what you feel, if you’ve felt this thing between us,” Chloe can feel herself start to ramble, “and I know you’re with Jesse and this isn’t really fair of me to tell you, but I just had to Bec…”

She finally looks up at Beca, who is staring at the floor, a stunned look on her face.

“Beca?” Chloe finally asks after a couple minutes of agonizing silence.

“I…umm,” Beca opens her mouth, but snaps it shut almost as quick, Chloe can tell she’s thinking.

Chloe doesn’t think rejection has ever stung worse than right now. She truly thought she felt something happening between them, but apparently she was wrong. She swallows hard, trying to keep the impending tears at bay.

She knows she shouldn’t push it any further but she can’t seem to help herself, “Do you really feel nothing?”

Chloe watches hopefully as Beca’s face seems to soften. The two make fleeting eye contact, but she sees a glimmer of something in those steely blue eyes she didn’t a couple minutes ago. The longer she waits…well for _anything_ to happen, the more her heart tears.

What she truly doesn’t expect though, is for Beca to abruptly lunge towards Chloe. The petite brunette pulls Chloe into her, their lips colliding in a fiery kiss. Chloe feels like the wind is knocked out of her, she gasps into the kiss before moving her lips just as passionately against Beca’s, who has been kissing the red head like her life depends on it. Chloe feels like her insides are melting as Beca skillfully deepens the kiss. After a few moments the younger girl’s tongue swipes her bottom lip and Chloe eagerly opens her mouth. The second their tongues meet, a zap of electricity courses through Chloe. But all too quickly, she feels Beca pull back. She leans her forehead against Chloe’s, breathing hard.

“I started to feel something for you when I took you home for Christmas,” Beca says breathily, still trying to regain composure, “but I’ve got Jesse and I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

_Jesse._ Chloe seemingly forgot about Beca’s boyfriend for a few moments. Forgot that the woman she was kissing so ferociously, is taken. Chloe wonders what Beca’s current relationship means for the two, she already starts to feel her gut coiling uncomfortably so, “So, where does this leave us?”

“I like you, like a lot,” Beca sighs deeply, “but I’ve got…Jesse. Shit.”

Beca looks immensely conflicted, her brow furrowing and her hands balling into fists. Chloe _hates_ being the one that put her in this situation. At the same time though, she couldn’t be happier, knowing that Beca feels exactly like she does. Beca likes her, Beca kissed her…but she can’t realistically expect anything from the other girl.

“As much as I hate to say it, I don’t want you to regret anything. I don’t want you to leave Jesse if you truly think he’s the one,” Chloe’s voice quivers betrayingly, she wishes she could hold her emotions in better, “I just want you to be happy. I’ll be ok.”

“I just need to think about things for a bit,” Beca replies quietly.

“Take all the time you need,” Chloe plasters a little smile onto her face, in attempt to reassure the brunette, “or we can forget this happened, if that makes things easier.”

Beca shakes her head no, “I don’t want to forget. Not at all.”

The words leave Chloe dangerously hopeful, her stomach erupting in butterflies, “Ok good.”

Beca turns back around on the sofa, looking over at the blank TV, “Um, so do you still want to watch a movie?”

“Do you?”

Beca nods, “Yea, let’s see what you picked out here.”

The girl leans over and grabs a few DVD cases off the coffee table. Chloe doesn’t really care what they watch, her thoughts too consumed by everything that’s happened. She figures Beca’s in a similar situation. The girl just kissed her best friend, who she’s been harboring feelings for, for a while _and_ she has a boyfriend. Maybe a movie with her best friend would be a good distraction.

Normally, Beca would cuddle up next to Chloe, pulling a blanket over them while watching a movie. This time, as soon as the movie starts, both girls stay on their respective sides of the sofa, eyes trained intently on the TV screen. Chloe hopes that this isn’t what their future will look like, if Beca chooses Jesse. It makes her heart drop to think that the closeness the two share could be gone, depending on which way this goes. Maybe Chloe should have kept her mouth shut. Maybe she just should have been grateful for what she had.

But maybe, just maybe, Beca will pick her. Beca will pick her and all this will be worth it.


	7. Chapter 7

It’s been two weeks since Beca kissed Chloe. A whole two weeks since Chloe told Beca how she feels. Two weeks since Beca admitted that she likes Chloe too. And Chloe is patient, she really is, but she’s starting to get a little antsy.

She’s especially antsy because Beca is acting like nothing ever happened. Jesse still shows up after Bella’s rehearsals to take her to dinner or to walk her back to her dorm. He still greets her with a kiss that Beca doesn’t hesitate to return.

Chloe stopped by her dorm last Saturday morning, with a cinnamon roll and coffee…only to find Beca’s side of the room empty. Kimmy Jin told her that she thought Beca was at her boyfriend’s. Chloe confirmed that by text later.

Maybe this is Beca’s answer to her? She chose Jesse, but why wouldn’t she say it to Chloe’s face?

Then there’s the fact that the freshman has been avoiding Chloe like the plague. It’s like pulling teeth to even get the girl to reply to her texts. The whole situation is making Chloe wish she had just kept her damn mouth shut, because this…this is way worse than what she assumed was unrequited feelings. Beca kissed her…told her that she likes her…and then chose to stay with Jesse. But Chloe just wants to hear it. She just wants Beca to say it, then maybe she can start to move on.

“Hey are you ok?” Chloe hears the voice of her uptight best friend, then feels the sofa dip next to her, “You’ve been a little distant.”

Chloe simply nods, not wanting to actually talk to Aubrey about the Beca situation, knowing that it would end with a lecture, “I’m fine.”

She finally turns to look at the blonde, who is giving her a pointed stare, “Bullshit.”

“Bree, I’m fine. I swear,” Chloe lies through her teeth, turning her attention back to the textbook in her lap.

“Ok, is it your mom?” Aubrey pushes along, clearly she’s not going to let it go.

Chloe considers lying and saying it is her mom, but she doesn’t want to worry the other girl, “No.”

Aubrey sighs and Chloe can see her rubbing her temples in her peripheral vision, “Ok then, is it…Beca?”

She wants to blurt out no, but instead finds herself letting out an embarrassing squeak and a shrug of her shoulders. Something about Aubrey always makes Chloe break down and tell the truth, it’s like she physically can’t lie to her.

“What did that little brat do to you?” Chloe isn’t surprised by the venom in her voice, there’s no hiding the fact that her two best friends really don’t get along.

“Don’t call her that,” she snaps out, still trying to focus on the words in front of her, but it’s impossible, so she closes the book and sets it down next to her.

Aubrey sighs again, but when she speaks her tone is softer, “Stacie told me about New Year’s Eve, Chloe, I really didn’t think you had it that bad for her.”

“Ok, well I do. Sue me,” Chloe looks back up at Aubrey, who surprisingly is not giving her the glare she expected.

“What happened Chloe?”

There’s no sense in trying to cover it up now, “I told her how I feel. She kissed me and said she likes me too, but she’d have to think about it. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard anything and now she’s avoiding me too.”

Aubrey grumbles incoherently under her breath, it’s probably a good think she can’t understand it, “I swear to god, she’s not going to know what hit her…”

“Bree, calm down. It’s ok, I should have seen it coming. She does still have a boyfriend, she doesn’t owe me anything,” as sad as it is to say, it’s true. Chloe doesn’t have a much of a right to say anything, she is the one who confessed her feelings while Beca was still in a relationship.

“She at least owes you the decency of a yes or no,” Aubrey rolls her eyes and flops backwards into the couch, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well what am I supposed to do Bree?” Chloe asks her friend exasperatedly, “Walk up to her and demand an answer?”

“Yes,” Aubrey says immediately, “Or at least get her to talk to you about things.”

Chloe drums her fingers on her leg nervously, the blonde has a point. She picks up her phone and checks the time, 9 pm. Beca might still be up, she could chance it and try and call her or head over to her dorm. Anxiety washes over her like ice water as she weighs her options. After a minute or two of her best friend eyeing her in anticipation, she whips her phone out of her back pocket.

She hits Beca’s name in her contact list and waits as a ringing noise fills her ear. Aubrey gives her a supportive smile. Chloe’s just about to give up, but then the voice of the younger girl finally makes her jump.

“ _Hi Chloe.”_

“Hey Beca.”

There’s a small gap of awkward silence before Beca says anything. She’s honestly surprised that Beca answered her, with how hard she’s been avoiding Chloe.

_“So, what’s up?”_

Oh right, Chloe is the one who called her, “Um, well honestly, I was kind of wondering about the other night.”

_“The other night…?”_ Beca sounds confused, apparently she’s not being as transparent as she thought.

“Like the night I told you about my feelings…and then you kissed me?”

_“Oh.”_

The one-word response sits in her gut like a rock.

“I know you said you needed some time…” Chloe starts to say hesitantly.

_“Do you think we can talk about this in person?”_ Beca cuts her off abruptly, asking the question with a little more gusto than Chloe had expected.

It almost knocks the wind out of her, she composes herself quickly though, not wanted to put any doubt in the other girl’s mind, “Of course. Are you doing anything right now?”

There’s a brief patch of silence, she can practically hear Beca thinking from here, “ _No…come on over. Kimmy Jin is gone.”_

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Chloe tries not to sound too eager, she shouldn’t get her hopes up. She could be going to Beca’s dorm to have her heart crushed.

************

She really does try to slow herself down but she’s in her car and sitting in the parking lot of Beca’s building in ten minutes. She briefly thinks about sitting and waiting five minutes before going in but disregards the idea quickly. She’s too anxious to wait any longer.

Before she can process her actions, she’s standing in front of Beca’s door, knocking lightly on the white wood. The door swings open and Beca is standing on the other side, looking almost as nervous as Chloe feels. Her hands are balled up into the sleeves of her sweatshirt, she’s biting her lower lip lightly, her eyes glancing over Chloe expectantly.

“Can I come in?” Chloe asks after a minute of the brunette just standing there blocking the entrance.

“Oh right, yea definitely,” Beca opens the door wider and lets Chloe walk through finally.

The two naturally gravitate to Beca’s bed, the only real spot for them to sit in the small shared space. Chloe makes herself at home, sliding backwards so her back is against the shelving built into the wall. Beca follows suit but leaves a generous amount of space between the two.

“So…” Chloe clears the dead air, looking at the other girl hopefully.

“Can I be honest?” Beca asks timidly.

Chloe nods, waiting patiently for her to continue.

“I’ve really been struggling with this,” she starts to say, pausing briefly.

That much is clear. If it had been an easy decision, Chloe would have had an answer long ago.

“It’s not for the reason you’d think either,” Beca twists her hands together nervously in her lap, “This is really hard to explain, I’m bad with feelings usually…but, what I feel for you is so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced before.”

Her words make Chloe’s heart thrum almost painfully in her chest. That wasn’t what she was expecting her to say, but she couldn’t be happier. Especially, because she feels the exact same way. 

Before Chloe can say a word Beca continues to speak, “It scared me, so that’s why I’ve been avoiding you, but when you called tonight, I realized that I can’t go any longer without seeing you, talking to you.”

Chloe reaches across the bed and lies her hand gently over Beca’s, “Hey it’s ok to be scared.”

“I feel so stupid,” Beca replies softly, “I like you so much, but here I am running around with Jesse still because it’s easy.”

“Hey…look at me,” Chloe picks up her hand that had been on Beca’s and instead uses it to brush a tendril of hair out of the other girl’s face, successfully getting the brunette to look at her, “I didn’t want to say it, I didn’t want to scare you, but I feel the same way about you Bec. I know it’s a bit scary but if you’re willing to try…I think it would be worth it.”

Their eyes finally lock and the steely blue gaze that meets hers is full of something she can’t quite put a finger one. Dare she say a look of love, even though she highly doubts it. At least it’s no longer the pained, anxious look that had graced her face when she met Chloe at the door earlier. As she studies the other girl, she is suddenly, keenly aware that Beca’s face is moving closer and closer to her own. Beca’s eyes flit back and forth from her lips. As much as she’d love to lean in and feel those rosy lips against her own again, she can’t. She can’t do that while Beca still has a boyfriend, out of respect for herself…and Jesse. Beca needs to prove she’s serious about this first and break up with her boyfriend.

Chloe scoots backward and clears her throat, “I can’t do that Bec.”

The freshman looks utterly confused and a little hurt, “Why not?”

“You still have a boyfriend,” Chloe replies simply, and a look of realization hits the other girl.

“Oh yea…you’re right,” Beca looks a little sheepish as she scoots away from Chloe.

She doesn’t want this to end right here though, she needs to confirmation that Beca really does want to try this, “Once you break up with Jesse, I swear these lips are all yours…and believe me, I would love to spend forever getting to know yours.”

A blush creeps it’s way across Beca’s cheeks, “I haven’t stopped thinking about our kiss since it happened…”

“Me either,” Chloe says it with such ease because it’s true, every night the feeling of Beca’s lips against hers fills her dreams, she finds herself lost in thought throughout the day wishing it would happen again.

“I’m going to break up with Jesse this week, I promise,” Beca says it so sincerely, Chloe is convinced that it will happen.

“Are you sure you want to do this…with me?” Chloe can’t help being insecure about the whole situation, even though Beca just told her that she’s breaking up with him.

Beca nods vigorously, “Yes. I’m sure…I really, really like you Chloe.”

“I really like you too Bec,” Chloe wishes she could lean over and kiss Beca, just like she tried to do earlier, but she’s waited until now, she can wait a little longer.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, it's been a while since I updated this! I hope there are still some of you hanging around to read :) I've had a lot on my plate in the past month and have also been working on some other fics/one shots, and this one just fell through the cracks for a while. Hopefully I'll finish this one up in the next few weeks though!

For the next couple days, Chloe floats through life lightly, happily. Blissfully content with the fact that Beca is going to break up with Jesse… _sometime._ There’s a nagging doubt in the back of her head, that crawls up like bile into the back of her throat every now and then. She’s choosing to look at the positive though. Beca will be hers soon. Beca is choosing her.

After the third day since their conversation, she starts to get antsy again. It’s only been three days though. Maybe Beca hasn’t had a chance to see him yet? She doesn’t know his schedule, she does know Beca’s though, and she’s had ample opportunity to take the leap. She chooses to stay blissfully unaware of the situation.

When it hits the week mark, Chloe finally is realizing that Beca might not actually do it. She has a hard time understanding why, when a week ago they sat on Beca’s bed, confessing that they both still have feelings for each other. Beca told her that she wanted to break up with Jesse. They almost kissed… _again._ So to say she’s a little confused would be an understatement. She has noticed that there’s been something a little off about Beca for the past couple weeks. There’s something wrong, something that she’s not telling Chloe.

She knows she’s pulling a cheap card by doing it this way, but it’s the only way she can think to get Beca alone for a few minutes, “Beca?” she calls out into the auditorium during Bella’s rehearsal.

Beca’s head snaps up from the conversation she was holding with Fat Amy.

“Can you stay after for a few minutes, I need to speak with you?” Chloe says it as professionally as she can, she doesn’t want to raise any suspicion amongst the girls that this is for something more personal.

“OOO, someone’s in trouble,” Amy immediately taunts and Beca’s face turns red.

“Shut up Amy,” the brunette quips before meeting Chloe’s eyes and responding, “yea, I can stay.”

Aubrey gives Chloe a suspicious side eye, obviously she’s the only Bella who knows what’s going on between the two. She wants this conversation to take place almost as much as Chloe does, “that was bold.”

“She’s still avoiding me,” Chloe explains herself quietly as she watches the girls fumble through their tired choreography for the 20th time today, “I had to.”

“I just hope she’s finally honest with you,” Aubrey says almost solemnly, “you need to move on.”

Chloe didn’t want to think it, but she’s right. She does need to move on if this “thing” she has with Beca isn’t going anywhere.

“You know, that little hobbit has done nothing but cause trouble since she showed up,” Aubrey huffs, crossing her arms over her chest, “she’s constantly trying to undermine me in practice and competitions and now she’s stringing you along like a sad, leashed puppy.”

Chloe tries her hardest not to say something she’ll regret to the blonde standing next to her, but there’s a hair of truth to what she’s saying , it does feel like she’s stringing her along, but Chloe finds herself standing up for the freshman anyways, “Don’t Bree. Beca has been SO good to me this year, she’s been there for me through it all.”

Aubrey spins to look at Chloe, and Chloe carefully meets her gaze.

She looks hurt and it makes Chloe instantly regret her words, “I would have been there for you if you let me. You chose her over and over again Chloe. You didn’t give me a chance to be there for you.”

“You’ve been out of your mind this year Aubrey!” Chloe does snap at that one, “You’re so obsessed with winning that I barely recognize you most days! Excuse me for thinking you wouldn’t be available.”

Chloe may have said it a little louder than she had intended, the two best friends have garnered the attention of all the girls, who are all standing with their mouths hanging open at the little display.

Aubrey brings a hand for her forehead, rubbing her temples vigorously, “Practice is over. Don’t expect me to give you another free pass like this,” she waves her hand dismissively at the girls, who are already starting to file out. Except for Beca.

Beca approaches the two older girls carefully, like she’s not sure if there will be a repeat explosion, “I know this is probably none of my business…”

Aubrey gives Beca a sharp look, “Actually Beca, this is your problem. You two need to fix your shit.”

The blonde grabs her bag and starts heading for the door.

“Wait Bree,” Chloe puts out a hand to stop her.

“We’ll talk later,” Aubrey doesn’t even stop for a second, she’s already halfway to the door.

Chloe’s eyes finally meet Beca’s. The younger girl looks confused, but at the same time, completely aware of what the problem is.

“I owe you an explanation,” Beca says softly.

Chloe shakes her head, “I can’t do this anymore Beca. I don’t need an explanation. When you are serious about this, come and find me, but don’t expect me to wait around for you.”

Now it’s Chloe’s turn to grab her things and leave. She can already feel hot tears stinging her eyes. That wasn’t what she was planning to say, but her little blow out with Aubrey changed her plan entirely. Chloe wants to be patient and kind and talk to Beca to figure out where the hesitation is coming from, but at the same time, she’s tired. A part of her regrets not sticking around to hear her out though.

She can hear Beca faintly behind her, “Chloe wait…”

It takes all her willpower to push the door open and leave, instead of staying and hearing the brunette out. When the cool air hits her face, she finally lets her emotions go. Angry tears stream down her cheeks. She’s mad at Aubrey, mad at Beca, mad that nothing has ever seemed to go her way. The only good thing that’s happened lately was her mom checking into rehab. That in itself is a whole other topic that she’s barely let herself think about…

************

When Chloe got back to the house she went right up to her room, hoping to avoid her angry best friend. They have their issues to work out but she’s too upset about Beca at the moment to think about it.

This whole situation is a mess. It makes her wish that she had just kept her mouth shut, just continued to quietly pine over Beca. Instead she had to tell the freshman and look at the mess it got her in.

Chloe’s currently in a large Barden hoodie and sweatpants, wrapped up in a blanket on her bed. She’s been trying to sleep but her mind just won’t shut off. At first she doesn’t hear it, but the second time there’s a faint knock at her door, her head pops out from under the covers.

Presuming it’s Aubrey, she sits up and quietly answers, “Come in.”

When the door opens, it’s definitely not Aubrey. The site of Beca in her doorway steals her breath out of her throat, she’s the last person she expected to be on the other side of that door.

“What are you doing here?” Chloe asks in disbelief, as she shoves the blankets completely away from herself and fully sits up.

“Aubrey let me in, she said you were up here,” Beca replies so softly Chloe can scarcely hear her.

That barely answered her question, “But why Beca? Why are you here?”

“I did it. I broke up with him,” she can tell now, from Beca’s face, that she has indeed been crying, her eyes puffy and cheeks red and blotchy.

“What?” she hardly believes it’s true, after all the time it’s taken.

“I broke up with Jesse,” Beca closes to door behind her and slowly makes her way into the room.

Chloe’s not quite sure what to say, she wasn’t expecting Beca to break up with her boyfriend any time soon. She wasn’t expecting her to do it at all.

“Do you really want to be with me Bec?” she’s not able to filter herself before the question is out, but she needs to know, with how hesitant the other girl has been and how upset she looks standing in Chloe’s room right now.

Beca’s eyes meet hers as she answers in a truly genuine tone, “Yes.”

“Then why did it take so long?” Chloe swings her legs over so her feet are dangling off the side of the bed.

Beca takes the move as her invitation and sits down next to the red head, “I guess I have some more explaining to do.”

Chloe nods, “Tell me what’s wrong Bec.”

Beca sighs deeply before talking, “When I came out to you, when you came home with me for Christmas, I wasn’t entirely truthful.”

“Ok…” Chloe can’t really tell where this conversation is going, but she assumes it will lead to some sort of an answer.

“I said I dated girls in high school,” Beca’s eyes fall to the floor and she takes another deep breath, “well, it was actually more like one girl and it was a mess. She was great…it was everyone else. We were public about it and the people in our school weren’t exactly accepting. We had mean notes slipped in our lockers, name calling through the hallways, anything you can think of that’s hateful, it probably happened to us. My mom and stepdad were supportive of us, but my dad wasn’t. He and the step-monster damn nearly disowned me. I’m still not sure if my dad was ever ok with it, or if she just brainwashed him.”

Chloe reaches a hand out to lay on top of Beca’s, she meets Beca’s glassy gaze with sympathy, “I’m so sorry that happened to you Bec.”

Beca nods slightly and continues with her story, “We broke up my senior year because I couldn’t do it anymore, I couldn’t take the judgement. When I started dating Jesse, it seemed like my redemption with my dad, not that I would ever do _anything_ just to please him, but things felt a little less strained. When I graduated and started college, it was my chance to scrub everything clean. I would no longer be Beca the dyke.”

Beca takes a long, deep, shaky breath. She lets a few stray tears fall, they land on Chloe’s lavender blanket, leaving a dark, salty purple mark behind. Maybe Chloe shouldn’t have been so pushy…she hopes she hasn’t made Beca do anything that was uncomfortable for her.

“Then I met you,” Beca smiles slightly, at the mention of the red head sitting next to her, “and everything changed. I knew I liked you from the moment we started talking. I just wasn’t sure if I could do it again. Could I handle the name calling, the judgment and the strain on my relationship with my dad, especially because he’s the sole reason I’m at Barden.”

“I had no clue Beca,” Chloe mutters in disbelief.

Beca shakes her head, “I didn’t tell you anything, I should have. You deserved to know why I’ve hesitated.”

“This isn’t high school anymore though Bec,” Chloe’s not sure if it’s the right thing to say, but she has to let the younger girl know that she won’t face the same thing here at Barden, “no one is going to be slipping hateful notes in your locker. You are free to be yourself…all the Bellas have your back… _our_ back, even Aubrey.”

“I know that, now. It took me a while to figure out if I could do it,” Beca seems to have perked up at Chloe’s encouraging words, “but I knew I had to, because I want to be with you Chlo, so much.”

“What about your dad?”

“Screw my dad,” she shakes her head, “our relationship is already bad right now, might as well put the icing on the cake. He hates that I want to be a music producer…plus he’s still pissed at me for shattering that window at the semis.”

Chloe can’t help but smirk, remembering the night Beca went to “jail”, “So this was a pretty big decision for you…you really do want this?”

“More than anything,” Beca replies simply, now a smile on her face, the remainder of her tears already dried on her cheeks.

“And Jesse is definitely no longer in the picture?” Chloe can’t help but ask one more time.

“Not at all.”

“Well in that case,” Chloe smirks and slides in closer to the brunette.

Beca meets her halfway, and their lips are on each other’s in a matter of seconds. Somehow this kiss is better than their first one. This time Chloe can feel how genuine it all is, the way Beca’s lips move so freely and passionately against hers. They pull away quicker than she’d like. Beca’s cheeks are a slight shade of red, but this time it’s not because she’s been crying.

“I really want to keep kissing you,” Beca says sweetly, but in a way that makes Chloe’s insides melt, “but I have to ask you this first…will you go out with me tonight?”

She’s not sure what she thought Beca was going to ask, but she wasn’t exactly expecting that question for some reason, “Yes, of course.”

“Ok cool,” Beca replies softly before leaning in again.

Chloe reconnects their lips quickly, and this time there’s a new feeling she can’t quite put her finger on. Maybe it’s desperation, neediness…dare she say love? All she knows right now is that she could spend the rest of her life kissing Beca Mitchell. The way the other girl is kissing her back, Chloe has a suspicion she feels the same way.


End file.
